Monday, November 2, 2009

Alright, Caalm Down Caalm Down!!

Our Romanian dance teacher said something at class last week that cheered me up: I told her I was having trouble remembering a certain sequence and she said “Don’t worry, by summer you’ll be good enough to be an honorary Scouser!” “Hey, lady” I said, “I yield to none in my admiration of the business skills, comedy timing and joie de vivre of our Liverpudlian compadres, and I feel that is one accolade I may surely never deserve!!”; but no, what she said was “honoris causa- which sounds almost exactly the same - and means something like magna cum lauda, the best of the best, which was very sweet of her. So, here I come Ken Dodd, Cilla Black, Ricky Tomlinson, Robbie Fowler and especially Beth Jordache off of Brookside (right). Speaking of the last of these, that’s surely a Scouse version of a Romanian name. To end, a choice of listening: Beth’s 2nd cousin twice removed, world’s greatest ţambal player Toni Iordache; or the first few bars of Ferry Across the Mersey followed by a good fight:



20 comments:

  1. A scouse catchphrase that will never leave me: "Arr Damien's on the dewl". Golden Brookie days.

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  2. What's the difference between Posh Scouse and Scouse? Are there also Scary, Ginger and Sporty versions?

    And you dance?! Has the well of Gadjo no bottom? "Honoris causa" indeed (that should be in italics).

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  3. I shall quell all my manc instincts to join in the guffawery (posh scouse is when they have salad cream on their kebabs).

    Anna Friel, who isn't a scouser, is actually very nice to look at in real life, too.

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  4. Beth Jordache had a girlish figure devoid of cleavage. That picture is surely from Ms Friel's later, boob-enhanced work.

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  5. Which of those videos do you most closely identify with Gadjo?

    Be honest now - is there an afro wig in your closet, do you yearn to be known as Barry?

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  6. Gaw, it's a language all of it's own isn't it - I love it!

    Ana, it's Baby Scouse that worries me most! The "well of Gadjo" is dance, which is also when his bottom is shown off to best advantage. (Did you get Mrs Pouncer to sort out those italics for you?)

    Kevin, guffaw away as much as you like - I've decided I'll throw all political correctness to the wind for a few posts! She was born in Rochdale, I understand, and is indeed a poppet.

    Bananas, I dunno, you could be right: I never actually watched Brookside, but news of Ms Friel's loveliness and her rug-munching activities somehow filtered down to me anyway.

    Lulu, the Scousers certainly have better hair than Mr Iordache, but I could never wear a shell suit with any conviction, unless perhaps it was made of Harris Tweed and with elbow patches.

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  7. Proof, if any were needed, that all Scousers who are not Irish are gyppos. (No offence to Mr Byard). Now I just want to hear Tony play Furry Cross the Mersey on his Scouse Piano.

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  8. Daphne, I'm intrigued about the idea of a "Scouse Piano", imagining it to be altered in some way so that it makes a more twangy sound, but I'll be happy to be enlightened as to the real definition.

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  9. Daphne - None taken, like.

    Although I'd say Tinkers probably outnumber Rrom by a large margin.

    I fear a "Scouse Piano", like a "Bangkok Banjo", has little to do with music other than rhythmic thudding and tuned moans.

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  10. A scouse piano involves a forehead and the bonnet of a car.

    And a scouse piccolo is a dog end that's been trodden on so that it whistles when you try and get a drag on it.

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  11. When I went to Welding College, I had to learn leadwork techniques too - cold-forming, bossing, welding. The teacher was a Scouseman, and he also taught us how to strip the flashings from a church roof in the dead of night and how to 'leg it' before the police came.

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  12. Gyppo, one Mrs Dilo's doctor colleagues has just returned from a "conference" in Thailand with salacious details of what might well have been a "Bangkok banjo"!

    Kevin, yes indeed, that could well be the definition - though Google rather indicates that we've coined the expression here on this very blog :-)

    Alice, lovely Alice, does to "leg it" mean something special in welding terminology? Like to apply the weld bead at the back of a single groove weld rather than at the front?

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  13. Do you have a Romanian version of Strictly Come Dancing?
    Sx

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  14. Scarley, I don't think so, though there's something called "I Dance For You" which I think is like an amateur version.

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  15. Gadjo, you've nicely described the UK version.

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  16. I once dated a Scouse lady, and she was a riot. On a visit to her parents' house (at their invitation, not a break-in) I saw a public service ad on a bus stop telling Liverpudlian youth to be careful about something or other. It was promoted by Atomic Kitten. What a great, if lacrimose city.

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  17. Boyo, Atomic Kitten are the law in places like Liverpool: the police, The Liver Birds and The Kop are all answerable to them.

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  18. Perhaps you could call your kitten "Atomic"?

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