Friday, November 6, 2009

Name That Cat! #2

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS A GRATUITOUSLY LARGE NUMBER OF SMALL FURRY ANIMALS

Yes folks they’ve finally arrived, 3 months after Ţuţica sprogged out she’s at last deigned to bring them to see us (and be fed, of course). We thought they’d died; we thought she’d had them, at location unknown, and they’d been eaten by the neighbourhood dogs or drowned by other deluded humans who considered themselves “owners” and with some heavy sense of responsibility. But there’s just two of them, which may be manageable and not necessitate a sack and a trip to the canal. And here’s what makes it all worthwhile: these two also need names. The names of the mother and Tanu, her “friend”, were chosen by your good selves and have served them well. We were unsure of the kittens parentage: it could have been Tanu, whose colouring is the same as Ţuţica’s, The Dark One, or The Ginger One; but the youngsters have a pleasing touch of the tarbrush and so it wasn’t incest and as Mrs Dilo and I agreed we’d be happy whatever they are as long as they’re not ginger... we’re very happy. We’re not entirely surely what sex they are either, but whenever we pick one up and have a look, it’s a boy; unfortunately we haven’t been able to catch both at the same time (cf, The Four Dachshunds Problem), but I’m with Chris Eubank (wasn’t it??) in believing that because I’m so incredibly butch and rugged any child on mine (albeit adopted, albeit of a different species) would have to be a manchild. The two names you chose last time are Romanian, but this time they’re going to be named after my heroes; oh, and the rules are slightly different - I’ve already decided, so you win a prize if your choice agrees with mine:

#1 Elvis: I’ve always wanted a pet called Elvis and I won’t get a better chance than this. (I admire his singing and dancing but most of all his noshing.) Also, due to the rubbish that is on cable TV, Mrs Dilo and I are often reduced to watching old films on MGM Channel and we’ve fallen in love with The King in a whole new way.

#2 Noddy Holder: Another personal Rock and Roll hero and with all the right attributes: a top pair of lungs, actual whiskers, and by all accounts one who can handle himself in a fight. Using The Jules’s excellent suggestions, I’d want our Noddy to introduce all the festive seasons for us by caterwauling on the doorstep: not only “It’s Christmasssss!!” but also “It’s Easterrrrrrrr/Ramadaaannnnn/Yom Kippurrrrrrrrr!!!!!” etc.

#3 Gandhi: I’ve always admired the Mahatma but felt he must have had a hard life what with one thing and another. I want to give him the chance to be reincarnated (if only in name) as a kitten so he can enjoy his sensual side and get the pampering he surely deserves.

#4 Nelson: Not named after genuine heroes Admiral Nelson or Nelson Mandela but, contrarily, after Nelson Gabriel, former BBC Radio 4 The Archers character, who made his living selling junk to gullible people - skills, sad to say, of much more use over here than those of the other two.

#5 Wellington: Again not a British wartime hero but the specky one off of The Wombles, those cute animated critters that tidied up the rubbish on Wimbledon Common, and he can start by tidying up the mess he’s made in the cardboard box we gave him to sleep in.

#6 Stig: Not named after that bloke off of Top Gear (who’s supposed to be a good driver, yeah, but has to wear a crash helmet inside the car… duh!), or after any number of Swedish blokes, but after Stig of the Dump, another childhood hero who was dead rugged.

#7 Bela Lugosi: Mrs Dilo’s often heard to say “Hmm, he looks a bit Hungarian” about any character in a film who’s started to behave in a disdainful manner. I’m expecting her to say this about one of the kittens when it turns its nose up at some new piece of bedding we’ve offered it from our wardrobe. Still a top name though.

#8 Linda Lusardi: (Just in case one of them is a lass.) I can’t get over the fact that I think cats are sexy. Ţuţica’s been full of milk and I’ve never seen such breasts on a cat, not even on Eurotrash. I don’t want to go down this road much further, but I might just go as far as naming a cat “Linda Lusardi”.

18 comments:

Gaw said...

I vote for Gandhi as it may have a part in promoting world peace. And Wellington as it will give people the message that you're a warlike Brit and not to be messed with.

inkspot said...

There will be times when you're outside shouting for the cat, so it should be something you can bear to shout repeatedly in public. That rules out Wellington, you'll sound like a poof. Sorry, but you will.

Gorilla Bananas said...

All I will say is that giving your kittens a surname (other than Dilo) is plain silly. I prefer the ones with fewer syllables.

Ana said...

I have two votes, as pairs. I hope I'm not breaking some sort of rule.

1. Elvis and Bela. We adopted two kittens whose names were Mikey and Elvis when they arrived, which we hastily changed to Cain and Abel. I wish we had left Elvis as named; Cain, however, ended up being a perfect choice. And it's well known that I like anything disdainfully Hungarian (hilarious tendency by Mrs. Dilo, by the way!).

2. Wellington and Stig: they just sound great together.

Please don't name it Linda if it's a girl, though. You'll just have to do another post with better offerings if it comes to that.

Lulu LaBonne said...

It's got to be Stig and Elvis cos I love them best from your list.

They are very sweet - won't it be fun if they are both boys and all three chaps start competing to make their mark on your property.

Kevin Musgrove said...

It would have had to be Nelson and Walter but you've already debarred the latter.

Nelson and Noddy has a ring to it. Though standing at the doorstep at twilight shouting "Noddy!" may get you funny looks.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Gaw, if politics were the only consideration I'd also chose Gandhi for his world peace activities, and also Wellington for passing the Catholic Emancipation Act when he was Prime Minister.

Inky, you're right, I probably would, but I've already been calling out one of the names mentioned (not telling you which one) and that makes me sound like a poof too - maybe it's simply my voice.

Bananas, I see your point: the fewer syllables the better. But I can always use diminutives, and probably will.

Ana, you also had a cat called Elvis?? Great! Yeah, Linda Lusardi is maybe not the most suitable name - and Mrs Dilo's never heard of her. Naming a couple of cats Cain and Abel has a pleasing duality to it, like Little and Large, Cannon and Ball, Derek and Clive....

Lulu, thanks for joining in with the spirit of this. We're going to get the mother doctored as soon as we can, and may also get the lads knacked if they start doing as you suggest they might!

"Nelson" was suggested with you somewhat in mind, Kevin, though I also think it's an excellent name. The only other appropriate Archers' character name might be "Eddie Grundy", which is a thought.

Ana said...

We also considered Pontius and Pilate but thought that might be tempting fate... and I forgot to say how cute the little buggers are!

Gadjo Dilo said...

Ana, I see that you're quite a student of religion! How about "Mary" and "Martha"? Kind of boring, I guess. "Nubuke" and "Nezzer"? (It now occurs to me now that if you're an American - isn't that right? - then you'll never have heard of Little and Large, Cannon and Ball, and Derek and Clive).

Madame DeFarge said...

I'd go with Nelson and Stig. Just because I can.

No Good Boyo said...

Otto. The ultimate cat name. The Hapsburgs will unite us all again, one day.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Madame, Nelson and Stig would indeed jump at the chance!

Boyo, then "Franz Joseph" is better than "Noddy Holder" (and Horthy a better admiral than Nelson, but there's no way I'm calling that from the back door).

Kevin Musgrove said...

I'll bet there aren't many cats called Ceaucescu...

Scarlet Blue said...

Called them both 'Dinner'. This is the only word that cats respond to.
Sx

Pearl said...

Elvis. I knew an Elvis cat once, who developed the ridiculous little habit of laying next to his dish to paw one bit of food after another from the dish to the floor, where he would daintily eat them at his leisure.

I like "Stig", too, but only from the show. If "stig" means anything, I am oblivious to it.

I like "Noddy", too, but you're going to sound silly should you ever need to call for him...

Pearl

Gadjo Dilo said...

Kevin, no, there probably aren't, though Romanians are fairly disillusioned with all their politicians - apart from Vlad Tepes of course, now, that's a name for a cat.

Scarley, or onomatopoeic words that mean the opening of a tin of Kit-e-Kat or the rustling of a bag of Whiskas Junior cat treats!

Pearl, good lord, has Top Gear reached Minneapolis as well? This truly is world domination. In Scandinavia "Stig" means "path", or it may be from the Norwegian word meaning "ugly"; and in the Britain of my youth a "noddy" was a condom; hopefully "Gandhi" is non-ambiguous ;-)

Alice Scradcza said...

As you ignored my previous suggestions of Mig and Tig, I offer you Butt and Poke, or Flux and Kerf.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Alice, dear Alice, unfortunately nearly all welding terminology means something appallingly rude in Romanian, but "Bevel" and "Slag" might just be OK.