Wednesday, December 30, 2009

End of Year Résumé

So, we reach the end of another year, and what a year it’s been. Over here, one of the most significant features of 2009 has been the pleasure derived from blogging, and as we at Gadjo Dilo care about our readers we want to ensure that you are also deriving similar enjoyment. We would therefore appreciate it if you could fill out the questionnaire below, it'll only take you about half an hour and will help us to provide the Gadjo Dilo service you need:

#1: How Would You Rate Your Overall Level of Gadjo Dilo Satisfaction?
A: Excellent. I'm entirely satisfied and would now never dream of availing myself of any other form of entertainment.
B: Superb. I cannot wait to start my computer in the mornings and read what Gadjo has to say.
C: Wonderful. The only criticism I have is that Gadjo Dilo is simply too good, making all other experiences seem dull and mundane by comparison.
D: Rubbish. I'm a git with the cultural sophistication of a warthog and I'm happy to stay that way.

#2: Which of the Recurring Themes in Gadjo Dilo do you Enjoy the Most?
A: The epic tales of how he coped with his stammer have inspired me more than I can say.
B: His taste in music is a constant sourse of enlightenment and I've searched everywhere to get copies of the records played on Gadjo Dilo.
C: Gadjo's appreciation of women shows him to be a true gentlemen, which is very refreshing in this day and age.
D: It's all shite. Except the one about constipation. That wasn't shite. Ha ha!

#3: Do You Appreciate the Links that Gadjo Dilo Provides to Other Blogs?
A: I do, and I have also now linked to them.
B: Oh yes, I'm now best friends with all of them!!
C: Indeed. It's a very well selected group, providing a balance of blogs both educational and entertaining.
D: They're just another bunch of losers. Except maybe the Welsh bloke, who at least appreciates the value of swearing.

#4: What Do You Think of Gadjo's Garden?
A: The Garden of Eden, The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Sissinghurst on a balmy June afternoon....
B: Mmm, makes me want to curl up in the sunshine on a chaise longue with Gadjo and a nice long pina colada!
C: I've been senior plantsman at The Royal Horticultural Society Gardens at Wisley for 30 years and I can honestly say that I've never seen anything to match it.
D: Is that a garden?? I've seen better weeds in Steptoe's backyard.

#5: Do You Like the Kittens?
A: I love the kittens, especially Elvis, ahhh he's so cute!!!
B: When I think that Gadjo rescued these poor starving cats, and gave them a home and food to eat, it makes me almost tearful to think that there is still such goodness in the world.
C: Every blog of note should feature kittens and it's a mark of Gadjo's perspicacity that he recognises this.
D: Stuff the kittens. Literally. The fat one especially would make an excellent tea cosy.

#6: How Do You Feel About the Level of Smut and Innuendo on Gadjo Dilo?
A: For me it's pitched just right: I don't want it "in my face' but, heck, I'm no prude and it's only natural after all.
B: It's done really quite beautifully at times; if only my husband could use language like this it might put a bit of pizzazz back into our marriage.
C: Before reading Gadjo Dilo I knew almost nothing about sex and had never, you know, "done it", but now I feel I could write a whole series of tastefully erotic novellas.
D: I can never have enough smut and innuendo and everything else on Gadjo Dilo is frankly a waste of my time. More pictures of Kylie Minogue.

I look forward to hearing your opinions, which I'm sure will help us fine-tune the already excellent service we provide. Unless you answered all Ds, in which case two large men called Vlad will shortly be calling at your house, though when I think about it you'd probably get on with them like a house on fire. Happy New Year!


Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

All B's and C's from me, Gadj. You are indeed the Victoria Wood of blogging. A very happy NY to you, Mrs Dilo AND the kittens. Go easy on the Tuiça.

Scarlet Blue said...

I'm all 'A's... with the occasional 'B'.
Happy New Year!!! Have a good one.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I was with you right up to Kylie Minogue's underwear and I've forgotten the question.

Gorilla Bananas said...

No D's from me, Sir Gadj, although I'd quite like to meet these Vlads and teach them some manners.

No Good Boyo said...

B, C, B, A, D, A

the D is because you said Kylie when in your heart of hearts you mean Danii.

I'd like more on the oddness of living in Transylvania, especially whether the locals get fed up of always being defined in terms of their proximity to Sylvania and its rodent citizenry.

Alice Scradcza said...

Why we not hear more about your country and its great welding skills? For example, Dacia must have interesting Fanucs on the production line?

Gadjo Dilo said...

Daph, thank you kindly, and funny you should mention it but there's a post featuring Victoria Wood coming right after this one!

Scarley, thank you too, and very sensible choices if I may say so.

Kevin, I know. I've actually now had to move the reference to La Kylie's understrides as it was stopping people from getting to the end of the questionnaire.

Sir Gorilla, I fear that one never teach anybody called Vlad what we might might call manners, and I've given up trying.

Boyo, I did mean Danii, but I would surely have spelt her name wrongly and so I played safe. Transylvanians are fed up of simply being in Transylvania, and I suspect they'd move to Sylvania like a shot if there was any chance to build some dodgy patios there.

Alice dear Alice, the Dacia Logan is an excellent car, but I suspect their production lines are more lkely to feature Oltenians with poor personal hygiene than the lovely ArcMate 100i.

Brit said...

C, C, B, C, D, D.

Have you heard about this rumour that there is a secret third Minogue sister, who combines the best bits of Kylie and Danii, but is twice as delectable as either?

(When I say "rumour" I mean "dream I had").

Lulu LaBonne said...

I like the sexy bits and the videos best, and the kittens - all A's really.

Happy New Year Gadj

Gadjo Dilo said...

Brit, lucky old you! I have a dream - more a nightmare, really - that this third Minogue is called "Mandiii" and that I have to write a 200-page theoretical linguistics thesis on why she spells the name thusly.

Lulu, great, thanks. Though I must avoid too much of the common denominator stuff: I could post only sexy bits and kittens, but then I'd be no better than Rupert Murdoch, and we don't want that.

The Jules said...

Ooh, I love quizzes, me.

#1: Yes
#2: Battle of Hastings
#3: Mary Magdalen
#4: The Great Fire of London
#5: Speared by a stingray
#6: Shrove Thursday

Do I win anything?

The Dotterel said...

It's all ABC for me, although I'm wavering as far as Kylie is concerned. Can I go for D on that one? Please? Ok, I'm off to have Brit's dream then...

Gadjo Dilo said...

The Jules, absolutely correct, top of the class. (Though the answer to #2 was actually "Making Your Mind Up" by Bucks Fizz , but I think you knew that.)

Dot, judging by previous comments here I'm not sure there's any wavering allowed where Kylie and her sisters are concerned. Brit, there's one more here for the dream.