Wednesday, April 15, 2009

G-G-G-G-G-Granville! (#7): I’ve Said it Once and I’ll Say it Again

It was pointed out – by Gorilla Bananas, no less – that stammerers are not so much getting stuck on words but emphasising them. It’s true. And as well as repeating (that’s emphasising) sounds, repeating whole words is also a habit stammerers get into: they’re so used to restarting the run-up they often don’t realise they’ve already taken off. (This also, up to a point, makes them fantastic lovers... another story). In fact, Scientists believe that repetition is actually the reason for stammering in the first place: evolution has hard-wired into our brains the knowledge of the fundamental truths of the universe and the only way of making people understand these are by constantly repeating them, and the only way of doing this without seeming like pedantic bores is by having a speech impediment. Clever or what that Darwin, eh? These scientists go on to say that we emphasisers are ipso facto the chosen conduits of the eternal verities, and that these are the chosen ones:

Tony Hancock: “That’s a good ‘un, that’s a good ‘un!” Hancock often repeated his best lines. Did comedy dieties Galton & Simpson script them like that or was The Lad ‘Imself fulfilling a higher destiny?

Tony Blair: “Education education education”. Now that sounds an eternal truth if ever there was one. And heck, we chose him; you can’t much more chosen than that.

Policemen: “‘Allo ‘allo ‘allo”. The police get a bad press but they’ve got a difficult job imposing their (foreordained) authority. Especially when stammering. I suppose having a truncheon makes it easier.

MacBeth: “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow... Out, out, brief candle!... (etc)”. The Downside. Macca knows too much, and it’s not made him a happy bunny.

Jimmy Saville: “Now then now then now then…. urghh-ughh-ughh!” Strewth. Saville’s clearly a conduit of something. Beats me what though.

Bill Withers: “I know, I know, I know I know, I know I know I know”. Bill’s getting exciting and perhaps giving away too much here. We need to keep our mystery, mate.

James Brown: “Vienna”. Stammering Brother No. 1 has already been mentioned on this blog, and with his repeated and seemingly irrelevant intoning of the word “Vienna” was clearly trying to tell us something about pre-WWI diplomacy. Too late.

The Byrds: “Turn Turn Turn”. Where were we supposed to turn to? That's for them to know and you to find out.

The Beatles: “Yeah Yeah yeah”. Ok, ok, it's piss-easy to pick on repetitions in pop songs and I promise this'll be the last, but it shows you’ll never go bust by underestimating the public's need for banality.

Bruce Forsyth: “Good game good game”. Brucie, evolution’s greatest achievement so far, also responsible for the near-palindromic “Nice to see you to see you nice”.


Scarlet-Blue said...

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do-oooooo [Abba] understand this...

Gorilla Bananas said...

The number one prize goes to the seven little fellows who serenaded Snow White:
We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig from early morn till night

We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig up everything in sight
How can anyone not still dig them?

Francis Sedgemore said...

"’Allo ’allo ’allo"My dear Dr Dilo, the police have long since dispensed with such niceties. Now it's "Get back, or I'll kick your fucking head in!", repeated, naturally, ad nauseam.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Police turned up on my doorstep some weeks ago... I said. 'Allo, allo,allo,' to them. My normal greeting apparently. Police just fell about laughing. Better than falling about dead, I 'spose.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I could talk about food repeating on me - specially peppers - urp!

Lulu LaBonne said...

ooh and pickled garlic

Lulu LaBonne said...

and pickled garlic

Madame DeFarge said...

If one was a Round the Horne aficionado, then presumably Charles and Fiona would offer endless opportunities for repetition. If, however, one was not, then one would not know what on earth I was on about. Which would be bad.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Scarley, absolutely, and who better to intone those magical words "I do" than those 4 ethereal, jump-suit-clad smörgåsborders!

Bananas, we should indeed dig them and all other honest yet undersized toilers at the workface of capitalistic exploitation. I find it rather endearing that they have a special place in your heart.

Francis, I understand where you're coming from and I clearly do live in the past. They also seem to be looking younger each day, don't you think?

Ladybird, welcome, this sounds like a delightful encounter and I applaud your local boys in blue for having a sense of humour!

Lulu, well, really. Tut tut tut tut tut tut.

Madame, I'm a bit of a Round the Horne aficionado but I can't for the life of me remember who Charles and Fiona are, which is bad, you're right. Enlightenment, please!

Madame DeFarge said...

Gadjo - Charles and Fiona were two characters in the show. Betty Marsden played Dame Celia Molestrangler, and Hugh Paddick was 'ageing juvenile Binkie Huckerback'. They were extraordinarily polite and took part in scenes that were parodies of Noel Coward's style. So one scene I always remember (imagine it spoken in RP or Beeb English) had in it:

Charles: "I know."
Fiona: "I know you know."
Charles: "I know you know I know."
Fiona: "I know you know I know you know."
Charles: "I know."

So now you know.

M C Ward said...

That's a great list, Gadj. I happen to concur on Brucie's status. I read somewhere he stays young by doing "Tibetan stretches" every morning, but have failed to find out what they are. Do you know?

Also, he appears to marry bimboes half his age, which maybe helps too.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Ah, Madame, thank you. I realise now that my knowledge of Round The Horne never extended beyond a tape cassette of Julian and Sandy, and that's why I'd never heard of Charles and Fiona. Now I know. Anybody called Dame Celia Molestrangler gets my vote!

MC Ward, good heavens, a voice from past, and it's smashing to hear from you again. Brucie's indeed a walking tribute to Tibetan stretches and any other exercises his former Miss World conquests have taught him!

Kevin Musgrove said...

"Have you ever loved like this before?"

"Not like this. Not, not like this?"

"Not like this?"

"Not on a number 47 bus."

Gadjo Dilo said...

Kevin, where's that quote from?? Or is the Hancock episode you wrote but the BBC never had the nerve to make?

Kevin Musgrove said...

It's another classic from "Brief Spirit" starring Dame Celia Molestrangler and Binkie Huckaback.

I'll see if I can dig out John Gould's 'Harold Pinter Tango.' It does precisely what you describe here.

Gyppo Byard said...

Coincidentally, I have just returned from Baden-Baden (which, like Mew York, New York is a city so nice they had to name it twice. At least.)

Gadjo Dilo said...

Thanks Kev, I knew you know. Brief Spirit, eh? Ah, I get it now. Yes, please dig out that recording for us.

Gyppo, you've returned from the Land of the Living to the blogosphere - I'm sure I speak for us all in saying that we've missed you! Baden-Baden is most curiously named and conjures up an image in my mind of Lord Baden-Powell and his identical twin brother Binkie, both in shorts and with woggles of course.

Greg Lewis said...

Worth mentioning also is the classic Ronette's track "Da Do Run Run".
Produced by Phil Spector, of course, so the repeated words may well constitute advice worth following.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Welcome, Greg. Ooh, I'm not sure Phil Spector is the first fellow I'd choose to take advice from though. Or do the words of "Da Do Run Run" mean somehting when played backwards?