Thursday, March 19, 2009

G-G-G-G-G-Granville! (#5): The Dark Side

I’ve previously explained why stammerers are the world’s dancers, poets and cool people, but, yes, there’s also a dark side to stammering, a bedlam inhabited by shades, ciphers, liars, amoralists, freaks, ne’er-do-wells and gits, a netherworld where the sun of pleasant conversation doth never rise. But, as without darkness there cannot be light, without stammering there cannot be fluency. You and I live in symbiosis… without me, you are nothing. As I explained the more celebratory aspects of stammering through song, I shall here also.

The Toy Dolls - Keith's a Theif: Surely there's nothing more stammer-worthy than being caught for benefit fraud - I mean, it's illegal but it's not even cool! Stammering on the all appropriate words: tax, dole, court, etc .

David Bowie - Changes: “Ch-ch-ch-changes”: Bowie, bless him, is the world's least likely stammerer; he’s therefore affecting this, as he’s affected much else in his career, but the fact that he gets away with it is sinister enough in itself.

James Brown - Please Please Please: Saying "please" to a woman once should be once too often for any self-respecting stammerer. In fact most of this song from Stammering Brother No. 1 is a cry for help. Pathetic.

Talking Heads - Psycho Killer: “f-f-fa-f-f-f-f-fa-fa…… You start a conversation but you can't even finish it... I'm tense and nervous, can't relax... I hate people when they're not polite”. Yes.

The Dickies - Paranoid: Most of what comes out of The Dickies vocalist's mouth sounds like speech impediment, especially here when trying to out-Ozzie Ozzie Osbourne. “Can you help me, help me with my brain? Oh no!" No.

Darts - Come Back My Love: All doowop sounds like stammering, but Big Den Hegarty's “B-b-b-b-baby” (2:14 minutes in) sticks in the mind, and he famously looks like Frankenstein's monster, amply qualifying this song.

So, 6 stammering songs here; nothing particularly significant about that number, though if you stammer it a bit you could be invoking the number of The Beast. I bid you good evening!

20 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

But is stammering in songs really stammering or just emphasis? What about the "Georgia's on my mind" lyric in Back in the USSR. "Emphasizer" is the new PC term for "Stammerer".

Francis Sedgemore said...

"Surely there's nothing more stammer-worthy than being caught for benefit fraud - I mean, it's illegal but it's not even cool!"

It's cool in those areas of Britain that make TV's "Shameless" look like a documentary. Still dumb, though. Why fiddle for pennies when you could be milking the taxpayer f-f-f-f-f-for millions?

Kevin Musgrove said...

Frances speaks the truth. We've never had so many enquiries for the Investors' Chronicle and Business Month. All the scallies fancy themselves as non-executive directors and some are even spending their bonuses before they start.

Pearl said...

It's my understanding that true stutter-ers don't stutter while singing. M-m-m-m-Mel Tillis is well-known for this.

Otherwise, my favorite faux-stammer is in "Ain't No Sunshine Since She's Gone" (I know-I know-I know-I know -Iknow - I know-I know-I know) ad nauseum.

Pearl

Gadjo Dilo said...

Bananas, a good point: it's emphasis, but that's also a habit that stammerers get into. Oh, mercy, another post. I should have thought of "G-g-g-g-g-g-Georgia's always on my m-m-m-m-m-mind" - imagine being a stammerer and being constantly reminded of Uncle Joe Stalin.

Francis, the negativity of the TV progs that now find their way to BBC Prime wearies and worries me - though I'd hate it if they were all as "aspirational" as American progs (used to be, at least). Shameless was well done, but life has a habit of imitating art, as somebody once said.

Kevin, you have a way of summing things up so concisely. It's the same here: we've a friend here who teaches in the villages, and the urchins all want to learn how to get a Mercedes without having to learn the 3 Rs.

And, Kev, that's "Francis" with an "i>I>/i>", we can get very touchy about that ;-)

Pearly Pearl, ahhh, a great great song, and more fuel for my future post! I'm not acquainted with M-m-m-m-Mel Tillis, but we do have our own G-g-g-g-Gareth Gates.

scarlet-blue said...

I growing extremely fond of Mr Sedgemore...
Anyhow, for some reason I'm thinking of Bryan Ferry or Steve Harley... but the tune eludes me...
Sx

Francis Sedgemore said...

"I growing extremely fond of Mr Sedgemore..."

It's "Dr Sedgemore", and it looks like I may be in deeeeep shiiit.

No Good Boyo said...

Oi Gadj I gave you Psycho Killer ages ago and demand respeck!

Also remember Wash It All Off by You've Got Foetus on Your Breath:

"Why kill time when you can k-k-kill yourself!"

Kevin Musgrove said...

Of course it's "Francis." I do apologise, sir.

(You might want to call her "my little coughdrop")

Gadjo Dilo said...

Scarlet, Dr Sedgemore; Dr Sedgemore, Scarlet. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding! Bryan Ferry or Steve Harley? Do tell which song you're thinking of, Scarley.

Ahh, sorry Boyo, yes, I forgot it was you who suggested Psychokiller! The other one, though I've do doubt it's a magnum opus, just sounds too unpleasent and I've once again erased it from my memory.

I thank you on behalf of both of us, Kevin. Let us know what the results were after calling her that.

No Good Boyo said...

http://www.imeem.com/people/I3ZtmQm/music/eFvL9p0G/foetus-wash-it-all-off/

Happy to oblige, Count Gadjula.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I can't think of any more songs for stutterers - can we move on to Tourettes songs?

Gadjo Dilo said...

Thanks a lot Boyo, I've had to erase it from my mind yet again now!

Lulu, an excellent idea, and it would make a really sweary post.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Virginia Plain, Scarls.

Is it too late for me to bang on about Mink Deville again? It's only because I loved Willy Deville with a passion that passed all human understanding. For very many years, I could not get Willy out of my mind. Many others made themselves available, but no-one measured up. Lately, I saw how he looks now, and I berated myself long and hard for lost years of yearning.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Don't forget the great Morecambe and Wise's signature tune: "Boom-ooh-ya ta ta tah".

Kevin Musgrove said...

I always thought that "All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit" was a song writte, and sung, during a migraine.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Mrs P., I'd also forgotten that you mentioned Mink DeVille in this context! The only song I know by Willy DeVille is "Demasiado Corazon", but what a great song that is, with Latin brass and all.

Daphers, wasn't the Morecambe and Wise theme tune Bring Me Sunshine? I confess that I can't recollect any stammering in it, but maybe I was still in denial at that age.

Kev, I reckon all of Half-Man Half-Biscuit's energies went into writing the song titles; writing the actual songs and then performing them was probably done with a little less professionalism.

scarlet-blue said...

Damn it! [sorry] That's it! I remember... pppppick up a penguin!
Sx

Oh, the song might have been Virginia Plain? I will have to think. Again.

scarlet-blue said...

...oh, my little coughdrop... this makes the downy hair on the back of my neck warm up.
Sx

Gadjo Dilo said...

Scarlet, you're right, Virginia Plain: "tr-try tr-try tr-try to make the big time". And how smashing to see Roxy Music again (on YouTube.