On this bright and hopeful April 1st morn I’ve just thought of some great ways to fool myself so as I can stagger on through another week or so:
I do currently have a career, it just hasn’t got a name yet.
I have mastered the Romanian language, and being informed, as I was recently, that it’s sometimes necessary to use the dative and accusative cases together should not disabuse me of this opinion.
I am a witty and fascinating personality, and if only the cat seems to recognise this then that will suffice.
My country - from which I am so painfully estranged - is still run by noble paragons of the Bulldog Breed – people like Churchill, Gladstone, Cromwell, Alf Garnett.... – and to be born an Englishman is still to have drawn first prize in the lottery of life.
I will leave something to posterity after I’m gone, maybe not in the shape of offspring or revolutionary ideas that have changed the world, but Battersea Dogs Home at least can expect a little something from my estate.
Happy Passover/Easter/Vernal Equinox everybody!!