Thursday, September 10, 2009

Once In A Lifetime

I’ve been kindly memed by Gyppo Byard and must name 10 things I've done once in my life which I wouldn't want to repeat ever. (Though in accordance with my previously stated desire to blog slightly less, I’m doing only 5) This sounds like a great opportunity for vanity - possibly even inverted vanity - since, though the things in question were presumably Not a Good Idea, they may also have been Incredibly Dangerous and Brave....:

#1: Walking Through a Railway Tunnel in Spain:Go along that path to the lake - it’s quicker if you walk through a couple of very short railway tunnels on the way”, they said; yeah, but forgot to add “.......but not the first one!”, which was very long, blacker than the Earl o’ Hell’s britches and in which I met a train coming the other way.

#2 Hugging a Psycho: I was out for a drink with a friend who’d brought along another bloke who’d recently moved into his house, a brawny security guard, who was clearly quite distressed. As we left to make our separate ways home, in an half-drunken outburst of naïvete and goodwill I hugged him in the hope that this would cheer him up a bit. I was told later that he was serious knife nutter.

#3: Writing the Most Incredibly Rude Things about my Maths Teacher, then By Mistake Handing this Missive in with my Maths Homework: She either didn’t read it or the words simply weren’t in her vocabulary.

#4: Crushing a Wine Glass with my Bare Hand: My girlfriend at the time was flirting with another guy. Many chaps in that situation have done far worse.....

#5: Letting the Oil Run Dry on a Gas Turbine: It was during my abortive attempt to train as a mechanical engineer. I simply didn’t have any common sense. Spectacularly so. Mechanical Engineering has flourished without me.

So, there they are, and I shall endeavour to make other, better mistakes rather than repeat these ones. Gyppo tagged 5 other people to perform this task and I shall tag Kevin Musgrove, Pearl, The Jules, Madame DeFarge and Brother Tobias; others are of course welcome to do it too. Mind how you go.


Gorilla Bananas said...

You hugged a psycho? That's nice, I don't suppose they get many. Nice of him not to hug you back.

The Jules said...

I bet your maths teacher has still got that work, framed and mounted in their retirement home. They crave attention you know.

Thanks for the tag. I shall have a think.

Gaw said...

About that train. Did you turn around and get chased out of the tunnel by it in Bugs Bunny fashion? Was there an alcove you could squeeze into whilst it passed? Or did it smash into you inflicting massive injuries, which the Spanish surgeons were miraculously able to treat (possibly assisted by the intervention of a local saint)? Just wondering.

Brother Tobias said...

And the wine glass - was that an accident of stress, or a deliberate statement? Thanks for the tag. I'll need to try and dredge up knuckle-biting things I've buried deep.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I couldn't argue with any of those.

Were the rude words teen anger or teen lust?

(I'll have to think of some things that don't sound too wussy.)

Lulu LaBonne said...

Actually I think it's quite hard for someone to stab you while you're hugging them (you need to keep their arms trapped mind!) so I'd call that a good move and do it again.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Bananas, the poor bastard was hung up about his mother, apparantly; for that brief moment I took her place.

Jules, she was a sweet old lady who somehow managed to teach maths to a bunch of divs without going insane. If it's framed on the wall in her retirement home then it's as a badge of her courage!

Gaw, all of those: I ran like Bugs Bunny into the nearest alcove, wherein I found an image of St. Barry miraculously formed in bat guano, which ensured the train stayed on its tracks rather than hitting me in the alcove, but I did later go under a Spanish plastic surgeon's knife in a (failed) attempt to make me look less like Bugs Bunny.

Brother T., it was accidental, though I suspect subconsciously I was thinking: "If I get my hand covered in blood and bits of broken glass sticking in it she'll be all over me again"... which, out of sympathy at least, she was.

Kevin, they were just teen boredom, I'm afraid. I learned me lesson though: If you must be rude to a teacher, be rude to the Geography teacher (he was always too drunk to notice).

Lulu, you may be right. I still say that hugging is generally a good idea. But then I've also just said that acts of self-mutilation will get one's girlfriend's attention back again. I guess I'll never learn.

Madame DeFarge said...

A varied list I feel. The hug demonstrates a kindness towards fellow man that I would find rather scary. Not that you scare me, just that the thought of any drunken physical interaction with men reminds me rather too much of inappropriate moments at university.

Response to tagging to follow.

Soda and Candy said...

Hehehe, good list (I came over here by way of The Jules).

Your blog name reminds me for some reason of this great movie called Latcho Drom, it is about the history of gypsies all over the world.

Wendy said...

I'm happy to say that I've done NONE of those things and am really happy about it. :)

Gadjo Dilo said...

Madame, hmmm, that does sound a bit scary, but physical interaction between a drunken man and another drunken man is usually of the harmless "you're my best mate, I love you, you slag", variety.

Hi Soda and Candy, welcome to this blog! I love that film, which is - unsurprisingly, and as I'm sure you know - by the same bloke who made Gadjo Dilo. Gypsies are a big feature of life here in Romania; they tend to live in their own world, but we have a pleasant gypsy neighbour who we often talk to.

Wendy, and welcome to you too! Yes, I don't really recommend any of them, except perhaps the psycho thing, which in theory might be a good idea.

Gyppo Byard said...

Splendid list, Gadjo bor, and thanks for playing.

I was particularly impressed by the train.

I told my dad (a retired engineer) the one about the gas turbine (on account of him having a chance of understanding it) and he winced and expressed his deepest sympathies for the gas turbine.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Thanks, Gyp. The train was indeed quite impressive: the wider-guage of Spanish tracks makes them look more imposing. I don't know why I wasn't severly reprimanded about the oil, but maybe there was still a bit in the pipe (as opposed to in the glass cylinder with measuring gradations on it) that kept the turbine just about going.

Alice Scradcza said...

I forgot to earth a big pipe I was arc welding and so nearly electrocuted my assistant who was holding it. It made one of my worst ever welds, and that was bad.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Alice, scary stuff; would your assistent have become permanently welded to the pipe if this nightmare scenario had happened?