Saturday, November 8, 2008

Most Embarrassing Record

I've been tagged (kinda) by Scarlet Blue who asks for a most embarrassing record ever owned. I'm gonna name two, as I have been a very embarrassing person over the years. I still haven't got speakers fixed up, so I do hope these clips show the two songs in their full glory.

1: Too Young by Donny Osmond. When I was about 9 years old a friend and I saved up our pocket money to buy this. And we owned it jointly, the idea being that I'd have it one week and he'd have it the next, etc. He rapidly realised that everything about this situation was incredibly uncool and I become ipso facto the sole owner. I'd like to say that I then destroyed it using a home-made bomb comprising weedkiller, Thunderbird and indoor fireworks, but in truth it probably got taken to an Oxfam shop by my mum 20 years later.

2: You Think You're A Man by Divine. I bought this when planning to make a small, humorous film about my Open University colleagues and I wanted to sample this track. (I never made the film - lacking time, money, and knowledge of how to make a film). When I rented out my bedroom to a young Indian couple I left (for some unknown reason) this CD (baaad choice) on top of the stereo. 2 years later, when they left, I found that it was still there, covered in a thick layer of dust - they couldn't even bring themselves to touch the thing!

I'd really like to tag everybody that I've embarrassed over the years. Kind of like My Name Is Earl.

29 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I initially thought you were referring to the drag actor Divine, and couldn't understand why a song sung by that diva would be anything but incredibly cool.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divine_(actor)

The only excuse for a 9 year old boy buying a Donny Osmond record is Transylvanian ancestry. You must have sensed things that only the beasts of the night can discern.

The Dotterel said...

The Osmonds were off-limits for the same reason as I detested the White Horses (thanks for nothing, Scarlett!). And then there was the bloody Partridge family, and David Cassidy. Honestly. This has gone too far.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Bananas, I was! (I changed the video clip now to one which, although I can't hear it, I'm pretty sure is performed by said artiste.) There was no excuse for liking Donny Osmond. Like I said.... embarrassing records.

Dot, yes, the Partridge family, and David Cassidy were indeed too far. As were Flintlock (anybody remember them?)

scarlet-blue said...

OMG!!!! Mike Holloway!!!! He was in the Tomorrow People as well as being in Flintlock. I had an enormous crush on him... posters all over my wall...
David Cassidy.... dribble, dribble....
Sx

Gyppo Byard said...

Donny who?

librarylizzie said...

Oh Scarls...yes...Mike Holloway. I must 'fess up that the lovely Mike re-entered my life in the late 80s, when I really was old enough to know better. He was touring in "Joseph", and I saw him at the Palace Theatre in Manchester, when I was a student, then went to see him again in London that same year! I went to the stage door both times, and I had an autographed poster on my wall. I was 22 years old!

scarlet-blue said...

Hi Lizzie... I was determined to marry him! Did he come from Dagenham? I had maps and everything...
Sx

librarylizzie said...

Scarls..been doing some internet stalking: Mike's MYSPACE MUSIC site
www.myspace.com/mikeholowaysolo

Also he is on Facbook..only one "l" in Holoway, apparently.

Sorry, GD, we are taking your space talkng about our sad teenages crush!

Kevin Musgrove said...

The Osmonds, David Cassidy and Flintlock...

And you thought Mrs. Pouncer's weekend hangover was hell!

Gadjo Dilo said...

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, Young Miss Scarlet Blue remembers The Osmonds, Flintlock and The Tomorrow People. I put it you that the picture of herself that she circulates may not be her most recent one. ;-)

Welcome, Library Lizzie, lovely to have you here. This talk about teen idols seems to have stirred pleasant girlish memories; on the contrary, I'm happy you've chosen my blog for this!

Donny Osmond was a gamelan virtuoso from the ealy 1970s, Gyppo. He playing style is considered a little too "clean" for modern tastes, but his recordings can still be found in Oxfam shops, in Jakarta. (If only that were true - but then it wouldn't have qualified as an "embarrassing record".)

Maybe hell is other people's music, Kev. I've had time to come to terms with my own embarrassments, but being trapped in somebody's else's car with Richard Clayderman or Julio Isglesias (as can happen frequently here) is a hell too far.

The Dotterel said...

Off topic, Gadj, but you have to see this...
http://thedotterel.blogspot.com/2008/11/we-interrupt-this-programme.html
What iniative, eh? (I wish I'd thought of it. Would have been worth joining the Scouts for. Almost.)
Tell all your friends.

scarlet-blue said...

Audible gasp...!!!! I'll have you know I'm as fresh and untarnished as I always was....
Embalming fluid.... it's the only way...
Sx

Gadjo Dilo said...

Ah, that's great, Dot! Yes, I'll have to tell somebody - too good to keep to oneself.

Oooh Scarlet, I feel bad now. I know you're as young as you feel, and it's acceptable to feel any age, so that's a win-win situation, I guess. I feel very tired. When is it you're meeting Mrs Pouncer? Do tell us what you find out.

Gyppo Byard said...

If we're talking embarrassing records from Jakarta, anything by Rhoma Irama would qualify:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bimiSFIDCN4

I have but few dangdut tapes/CDs in my collection, none of them by Rhoma Bloody Irama.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Not a bad sound, in a Bollywood kind of a way, and with added bouzouki too. But isn't that the guy who's now trying to ban dancing?? Nasty! Always a lousy idea to mix politics and religion in my opinion.

Ladybird World Mother said...

I bought Monster Mash as my first, and then Endless Love... which was utterly endless. More like useless.
Loved your ones... Donny Osmond! HAH!

Gyppo Byard said...

Gadjo - that's him, yes. Clearly he just doesn't want to be shown up.

Intriguingly, the lyrics mean "dig a hole to fill a hole - borrow money to pay a debt".

Whatever.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Welcome, Ladybird, I shall endeavour to have a look at your blog soon. Monster Mash, of good grief yes, I can even remember where I was when I was singing to it to myself!

Tsch, blokes telling girls not to dance so as they can't get turned on. He seems to be a twat. I pity the poor Balinese if that sort of thing takes a hold. (Hmm, those lyrics are at least more interesting than boy-meets-girl though.)

scarlet-blue said...

Why would anyone want to ban dancing? That's ridiculous. I love dancing.
We are meeting very soon. I'm very excited... and a bit worried that she will drink me under the table.
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

No Scarlet. After last weekend, I will not be drinking anyone under anything. And this time, I mean it. There are 5 levels of drinking, you know (6 if you live in rural Perthshire) and I was hovering in the high 4s - the bit where you're jubilant because you've Beaten The Night. But at 10.00 am it becomes obvious that the Night Has Beaten You.

Ladybird World Mother, who appears to be a sensible upright soul, will become my aspirational figure. I quite like Monster Mash and wouldn't be embarrassed by it. On the scale of things I should be embarrassed by, owning records by the Crypt Kickers would be pretty low TBH. What I WOULD like to know, however, is where I remember this line from: (Vincent Price-type voice):Welcome to the House of Wax!
(Trembly Kevin Musgrove type): But I only wanted my ears syringing.
Perhaps some kind reader could let me know. Maybe I made it up.

No Good Boyo said...

I recommend 70s Welsh funk:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VE45G8NEmzw

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

My compilation of Polish hits "Zlote Przeboje" (no dark l's, natch) is outcringed only by the faint memory of a 33 rpm of the Trio Athenee's "Au Revoir Paree". Herb Alpert & the TJB's Whipped Cream & Other Delights pales into almost respectable next to those two.

Gyppo Byard said...

Boyo - any nation that spells funk ffwnc is automatically uncool. Sorry, but it has to be said...

Gadjo Dilo said...

Me too, Scarlet - dance was my life for many years, I'm not kidding you. You must be excited by now. She probably won't allow photographs, but you could have a notepad on your lap and surreptitiously make a sketch of her when she's not looking!

Boyo, I like it! Honestly. There should be more ffwnc in the world. And there's more where that came from, apparantly:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LKKTnHCizco&feature=related

Mrs P, speaking of such things, do you remember The Crazy World of Arthur Brown? (point of local interest for you, he's an alumnus of Reading University). ("Trembly Kevin Musgrove type"... ooh, she's cheeky though, isn't she.)

Daffers, I had a girlfriend who loved the music of Herb Alpert, it allowed her to be ironic and retro, all at the same time. Polish hits, eh? Were you in diplomatic service over there?

Gyppo, I suspect that Wales is beyond cool - they may not even need a word for it!

No Good Boyo said...

Gadjo, thank for introducing me to Dau Gant (Two Hundred, also sounds like Two Twats in Welsh -subtle). I love his helmet.

Can Bass 1 said...

Anyone here remember Troy and his Mandoliers? No, thought not.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I won't be telling Mrs. P. where her quotation comes from. And I'm spiteful enough to be consoled by the hangover she'll have tomorrow. (-:

cb1: I do remember Troy and his Mandoliers! A long-suppressed memory. Play To Me, Gypsy. I really should get out more.

Gadjo Dilo said...

I was impressed by their video too, Boyo; it was simply the next one offered by YouTube after your one - not due to any special knowledge of my own!

Dear Mr Can Bass, we greatly value your custom here at Gadjo Dildo but unfortunately all our operators are currently busy. Here is some music while you are held in a queue, but be assured that it is not Troy and his Mandoliers.

Kevin, she'll feel terrible when she wakes up - in about four hours' time, at a guess - both from the effects of last night's Cointreau-Brasso cocktails and from her shameful rudeness to you. You could probably get said record from Mr Can Bass and stock it in the "extra-dusty" section of your library. (Anyone coming over here and saying "Play To Me, Gypsy....." might regret it).

scarlet-blue said...

Oh, please go and have a word with Mrs P, she's doing her 'ashamed and embarrassed' thing when she has nothing to be ashamed and embarrassed about. Deary me!
Sx